Ah, Valentine's Day. It's such a wonderful day, wouldn't you agree? Frankly, it's bullshit. I believe that it's kind of rude to celebrate the great Saint Valentine's martyrdom with pink hearts and shit. You can celebrate your damn love any other day of the year. Nice job, Hallmark.
I was strolling along the streets early in the morning, cruising for a place to hide from the sickening festivities. "Why," one might ask, "are you hiding from love?" It's rather simple: I find this to all be horribly disgusting. These humans, they made up a day, named it after a sacred martyr in their own history, and then claimed that it was about love. It makes no damn sense! If love is so damn important, then why not dedicate yourself to love? Halloween's cooler, anyways.
As I banked a corner, I rapidly backpedaled to avoid getting splashed by a car that I knew was driving way too fast to be legal.
"Asshole! Are you okay?"
Some guy had made an angry pass at the car. I stuck my head around the corner agai